Caring Bridge Journal Entry Fifteen

Friday, January 6, 2012 11:46 PM, CST

Withdrawal

There was a lot of improvement in Grace today. She's going through narcotic withdrawals right now and has the shakes and can't keep anything in her tummy, but that seems to be getting better every hour. I am trying to remind myself to be patient. I can't wait for her to talk to me, to hear her laugh, and to see some life behind those vacant eyes. Every time I tiptoe close to another panic attack, though, my mom reminds me that if I had been on a five day opiate binge I'd have a doozy of a hang over too.

The chaplain came in to talk with me today and recommended that Greg and I "find someone to talk to" after this whole ordeal is over. My friend, Ashleigh, has already said the same thing, and I know I will never hear the end of it from her until I do, so maybe it's worth looking into. :)

Greg and I have never been great at accepting help, but I think we either get it, or quarantine Gracie in her bedroom for the next 15 years. Something tells me she would have us chose the former.

Looks like we will be here until Sunday, or Monday, or maybe we will just move in. I am becoming dependent on the nurses call button. I think I'll get me one of them.

The doctor went home for the weekend, (He has a life?) and he said if I wanted to keep her here until Monday when he got back he would understand-- not because she couldn't recover just as well at home, but because I am psychologically attached to this place and he's trying to ease me off my dependence on their medical genius just as they are weening my three year old off of narcotics.

Gracie needs to see her friends, though. And I could use some sleep. It's time we come home . . . See ya Sunday.

(Thank you EVERYONE for the visits, emails, calls, cards, etc. We truly have the best friends, family, and coworkers in the world. I won't stop posting - We've got a ways yet to go, but I have a thank you letter to write to some surgeons first.)