Caring Bridge Journal Entry Twelve

Wednesday, January 4, 2012 11:20 PM, PST

Awake

Gracie "woke up" today and there were some really happy and hard moments. As I write this I am alone in the hall- the first time I haven't had somebody right by me since this all began... And in the silence the gravity of the situation has finally hit me. My baby is waking up and I am so, so grateful, but right now she is in a lot of pain, and that is so hard to see. I want to take it all away for her. I want to wrap her in bubble wrap, take her home, and play princesses and bake cookies, and build forts until infinity.

I know this wave of hurt will pass for all of us, but right now I want to sit out in the hall and cry for my hurting daughter. The adrenaline has passed, we have been to hell and back and I realize I am left with a lot to process, a lot of hurt to still heal, and a reality to get back to.

In the meantime, we will continue to remind ourselves how blessed we are and how thankful we are for everyone in our lives, especially Gracie.

Everyone has been beyond amazing. We are blessed. And I know, even sitting here in the hall that I am far from alone. You all have commented on how strong Greg and Gracie and I have been, but this one took a village. And as the adrenaline wears off I find myself being fueled by your words, thoughts, and prayers.

Time to get back in there. Thank you for letting these two "strong parents" be so vulnerable. It's time to admit that we need you all very much