Thursday, January 5, 2012 7:45 PM, PST
Panic outside the PICU
So, leaving intensive care is supposed to be a good thing. But, as I found out today, although Gracie was ready to leave for a normal hospital room, mom wasn't.Greg and his mom had to leave for McMinnville as Greg threw out his back last night and he needed to get some help for it before coming back tomorrow. Meanwhile, I prepared our stuff to be moved out of the PICU while I waited for my mom to arrive from Seattle.
As we took to elevator up to the ninth floor I felt the relief of being able to exhale. We were away from the continuous beeping and running and suctioning and crying of the PICU.
The nurse got us situated in our room and then quietly shut the door behind her. I looked down at Gracie and looked around the room. Where were the hovering doctors? Where were the sophisticated machines? Were the nurses not going to stay in the room and watch over her bed as she slept?
I noticed Gracie looked a little pale. She was asleep. Had she been sleeping too long? I nudged her. She didn't flinch. I wiggled her and said her name. She stayed asleep. She could barely be sedated and now she wouldn't wake up? I quickly grabbed my phone and called Greg. "Something is wrong," I told him. "Grace is too lethargic.". Greg started asking questions I couldn't process. I began to feel a little dizzy. I grabbed onto the edge of Gracie's bed and stumbled for the nurse's call button. I started yelling at Gracie to wake up and began trying to pry her eyelids open, pleading for her to look at me.
Right then the nurses came in and grabbed me asking me what was wrong. I couldn't speak because I was sobbing too hard.
A few seconds later, Diana, our angel nurse from the PICU, burst through the door and scooped me up, cradling me in her arms. "She's ok Amy. She's Ok. "She's sleeping. She's so tired. She's been through a lot."
Greg had called the PICU when I had gotten off the phone in such a worried rush and insisted that someone go look at our daughter. With one arm around me Diana used her other hand to stroke Gracie's hair. "Hi baby girl," she whispered. "It's Diana.". Gracie looked up at her, yawned, and then fell back asleep.
For a few more minutes, Diana stood there with me in her arms letting me sob into her scrubs. "She's not going to die, Amy. It was really close there for awhile, but she's not going to die. She's going to be ok. She's just been through a lot, and you are going to have to wait a while longer to have the Gracie you know back."
When my panic subsided she left me with the ninth floor nurses and shortly thereafter my mom arrived. I hopped in the shower to calm my nerves and when I came out of the bathroom Gracie sat up in bed, for the first time in a week, and reached her arms out for her mommy.
Let the healing begin
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